Updated: Mar 6, 2020
While we all work hard to earn degrees and certifications, some of the finest and profoundest lessons in life are taught, well, by life! A close encounter with cancer in the family had the earth shift from below our feet. Shocked and stunned that something like this could be happening to us was unbelievable! So surreal!
We each continued on auto-pilot quitely processing the news that we had heard in the oncologist’s office. The evening dinner was unusually silent and whatever conversations we had, were strained. Retiring to bed in some ways was a welcome respite, but also filled with a sense of dread of not knowing what thoughts and sentiments would haunt us for the rest of the night. As I lay in bed thinking about our future and our two young boys and the challenges ahead, exhaustively racking my brains for solutions and how to make the situation better, sleep took over, and I almost feel as if the deep unconscious insights and learnings awakened in me.
Come morning, I woke up with such an amazing sense of happiness and burst of energy that my husband was ready to declare me a certified cuckoo! I hugged him and said: “ Someone up there was looking out for us! It’s fantastic that we found out about the cancer at this stage, we can now do something about it. Imagine if we had found this out six months down the road.! And suddenly, he caught on!
Just changing the perspective and lens gave us such a different outlook! We were no longer unhappy or burdened. Instead, our emotions lifted to feeling positive and optimistic about overcoming our daunting challenge. And at the moment, when we saw it, small and conquerable, our life shifted gears. We felt the lost control come back in our hands. Just by putting on a new lens, we allowed ourselves to reduce the magnitude of seriousness to something we could manage and well, live with. It was no longer the focus of our attention and wasn’t even worth conversing about all day long! We choose to spend the remaining two weeks before the surgery focusing totally on family and nostalgic memories of a life well lived. We went about having the most wonderful and meaningful days, without fear, or pessimism. We had faith, a firm belief, and profound hope. Some nights, with our courage preserved, we were able to gently talk about our inner fears and acknowledge what each was feeling, believing in our hearts that we would be OK.
That is how we conquered our personal 911. Well, we did live to tell the story right?
Friends, we all have our earth shattering moments in life. Even as grave as the situation stands, life’s valuable lesson we learnt was that by changing our perspective, accepting the reality for what it is, and keeping positive thoughts amidst it all, made the issue manageable and surmountable. Once we got a handle on it, the path forward was clear and something we could all rally around. The final outcome may vary for each of us, not always leading to a desired ending, but at least changing the perspective will give you the courage to fight a good fight. Everything is as small or as big as you make it out to be.
Even in our daily lives, as we feel our tempers rise, or egos get ready for war, or have the clash of ideas sour the air, every tense moment can be dissipated with one single shift of lens. Once you view the possibilities in the difference of opinions, or remember that as members of one family, you are all working to reach the same outcome, you will find it in your hearts to let go of negative emotions, open your minds, and find the best possible solutions to execute with confidence and clarity. It is our attitude of holding on to things and wanting to be right, our expectations of how an outcome can be reached only our way, that fogs our lenses.
Clearing your lens will help you realize that what really counts in life is having a positive perspective and attitude. The way you see things will shape them for you. The way things shape will elicit your reactions towards them. The way you react will determine your capabilities of handling them.
Through transformational coaching aimed at moving forward in a positive focused manner, you can shift your lens: find the wisdom to let go, develop a self awareness of keeping an open mind, and discover an inner courage far greater than your conscious realization, to overcome emotions and sentiments. It’s an evolution, a connecting of mind and heart, an understanding of what lies deep within you, and allowing it to surface to transform you in ways you cannot even imagine!